Merely transactional communication can be frustrating
Have a fireside conversation to warm your heart
Rarely conversations reach a certain meaningful depth. I am talking about the depth that fireside conversations often reach. They warm your heart. They positively impact your life.
You trusted us. You showed up with your full self. And we did not deliver.
We were not fully in. We did not acknowledge fears or sensed possible impediments. We did not listen to connect. We didnât understand your desired outcomes. We did ask some questions. But not the questions that create conversational space for all of us. We did not see the world from your eyes. We stated the requirements.
You trusted. You shared. You tolerated our impact on your world.
And then we agreed to disagree.
We went in separate directions.
This might a typical scenario of a transactional conversation at work when, for example, you would be going for a frustrating job interview. Or if you reflect more deeply on it, transactional conversations might also happen at home.
Creating fireside conversations is a skill. A critical skill.
Even if currently there are some hardships to overcome and we cannot sit as a team in front of a real fire, we can certainly do our best and craft this experience in a virtual environment.
So there is an alternative way of having conversations. Meaningful conversations.
Meaningful conversations are for the long-term. They touch your soul. They make a delightful imprint. They alter your state graciously.Â
In this view, the purpose of having meaningful conversations is to make things better. To create a safe environment, to be more accepting and transparent about desired outcomes, to see the world from the other personâs eyes. To paint a picture of shared success and bridge reality gaps. And open up to always be testing your assumptions. Telling the truth and questioning the stories we make up. Meaningful conversations create value for you, for sure. But they also lift up the team.
Transparency and acceptance.
Relating better by listening to connect.
Understanding through seeing more deeply.
Sharing success.
Testing assumptions and closing reality gaps.
I think this is what more and more people enrol for when they accept a job offer that states âflat hierarchiesâ and âopen and transparent communicationâ. Today, merely transactional is not enough.
Uplifting all of us and creating conversational space for transformation is what can to lead to belonging. Something almost all of us strive for unconsciously.
Maybe your team or even your partner feel the same way and just are not yet aware of it.
With love,
âśď¸ Ready to play? Go and get your field recording here and have a meaningful conversation to the sounds from inside the log burner you see above. Or, if you have a real one, use it on Friday!